Politics will not fill the void. Nor will food, alcohol, drugs, sex, shopping, or any of the other things we do to feel more whole. What ails us is spiritual poverty.
The term spiritual poverty has been used before in a religious context, but that’s not what I mean here. One can be spiritually rich without religion and, unfortunately, many religious people are spiritually poor. Organized religion can be a powerful tool for living a spiritual life but it is neither a guarantee nor is it necessary.
Each of us has an urgent need for a spiritually rich life to tackle a basic aspect of our makeup. Humans are meaning-seeking creatures. Each of us is an individual within a sea of 8 billion people. We know we will die and the world will continue without a hitch. The vast majority of us will be forgotten within 2–3 generations, with no one so much as remembering our names. It’s easy to fall into a state of despair. How do we deal with such insignificance? The answer is spirituality.
I propose 3 components are required to lead a spiritually satisfying life: a sense of purpose, a sense of belonging, and living a consonant life.
We find purpose by believing in something bigger than ourselves to which we can devote ourselves. Some find meaning in religious belief and practice—though religion is not essential. Some devote themselves to feeding the poor, environmental causes, or mentoring youth at risk. There are countless ways of finding meaning by devotion to something bigger than ourselves. The key is to link our lives to a pursuit more meaningful than fulfilling our individual needs.
This is more substantive than mere belief; it is devotion. When we live with devotion to a cause greater than ourselves, we know that our lives are meaningful even after we die and we are no longer remembered. We are part of the cause and the cause endures.
The second component of leading a spiritual life is a sense of belonging. We all occupy different spaces on the introversion/extroversion spectrum, but it is a universal need (or nearly so) to belong to a community of like-minded people who share a common cause and values system. Communities lessen the natural loneliness inherent to the human condition by helping us feel we are part of something with more permanence than our individual lives.
Community elevates us spiritually and leads to a more fulfilling life through an essential element: giving. Giving is one of the secret ingredients to spirituality and fulfillment. While we can give to strangers, communities provide opportunities to give in ways that are more immediate, personal, and tangible. In communities, we benefit from being close to those in need and understanding what they need. And since we are emotionally attached to those in our communities, it makes the act of giving a bonding experience—even if done anonymously.
The third ingredient needed to live a spiritual life is consonance, or being true to oneself. This is not “living your truth.” Living in consonance means never lying to yourself or others. This is harder than it sounds. It can be painful at times. It means establishing a values system and sticking to it even when we don’t want to. It means admitting when we are wrong, making amends, and learning from those experiences. It means not making excuses for certain behaviors just because we (or someone from our tribe) committed them. And it means reevaluating our preconceived notions when confronted with evidence that we are clearly misguided.
Living in consonance means embracing cognitive dissonance because it has something to teach us about our actions or our beliefs, since cognitive dissonance appears when these are in conflict. The usual response to cognitive dissonance is to engage in justification. We either justify our actions or justify our beliefs, but we reexamine neither and squander opportunities for growth.
Finally, these 3 ingredients must be central to every part of your life. These ingredients must be with you everywhere—at work, in your social life, in your family life, and even when you are alone. You cannot have a spiritual life and the rest of your life.
[In future installments, I will expand on these ideas and discuss how people try to fill this spiritual void with the wrong solutions. I will also discuss how many of the world’s problems could be more easily solved with more spirituality. If this message spoke to you, please share it with a friend.]
I agree with the distinction between living spiritually versus being religious (as practices that might coexist, but needn't), and interested to see these thoughts expanded in future writings. Several in my family say they are spiritual without necessarily being religious, but they struggle to define exactly what that means. I think your framework provides helpful tools and language that can be used to talk more about spirituality (and can also help describe steps to get closer to it)
I can’t wait to read more, Tzvi. I couldn’t agree more on the importance of living in consonance, in particular. It’s is a day-to-day (moment-to-moment?) practice that I don’t always get right. It’s humbling to try but deeply rewarding.