Humility is valued by all traditional cultures. The Hebrew Bible tells us Moses, the Israelites’ greatest leader, was “very humble, more so than any other human being on earth.” The New Testament, too, lauds humility in Luke 14:11, “For every one who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.” The ancient Chinese philosopher Laozi wrote, “Only great humility and great love allow one to obtain the Great Power, which is the same as the Power of Tao!” These quotes and many others demonstrate how much the ancients valued humility.
And we moderns value it too. Intuitively, we gravitate towards those who are humble. Yet many people have trouble defining humility, and how we define it has a great impact on whether we admire and desire it. Merriam Webster defines humility as “freedom from pride or arrogance: the quality or state of being humble.” Consult it for a definition of humble and we arrive at “not proud or haughty: not arrogant or assertive” or “reflecting, expressing, or offered in a spirit of deference or submission.”
So far, we see humility as lacking negative traits, like haughtiness and arrogance. This seems like a good thing. But what of pride and assertiveness? Are these necessarily negative? And how do we balance these ideas against the downsides of poor self esteem, which we don’t consider useful or positive at all?
I recently developed an entirely new perspective on humility from the writings of Rabbi Yehuda Lowe. Rabbi Lowe was a 16th century talmudist, philosopher, and mystic, also known as the Maharal of Prague, who focused much of his writing on spirituality and personal growth. For Rabbi Lowe, humility is much more than a lack of haughtiness or arrogance. Here’s what he writes about humility:
“Those… who possess the trait of humility, who don’t limit themselves, who don’t compare themselves to anything, are as if they are boundaryless… for humility has in it the trait of simplicity because he does not compare himself to anything. This is the essence of humility.”
For Rabbi Lowe, humility means not comparing ourselves to anything or anyone, for as soon as we do so, we have set limits on ourselves. This contrasts with the modern psychological advice not to compare ourselves to others, which is primarily focused on avoiding seeing shortcomings in ourselves through such comparisons. Rabbi Lowe is giving us the flip side of this coin. If I compare myself to something or someone—even someone great—I have already limited my growth in the given domain of the comparison.
For example, let’s say I compare my writing to Shakespeare. While it’s true I am not as good a writer as Shakespeare, there may be one, small, specific area of writing where I can excel past Shakespeare even if my overall writing is vastly inferior. Or there may be a specific situation calling for techniques Shakespeare would have never used simply because they were unknown during his time. Through the comparison, I may limit my exploration or experimentation. I may ask myself whether Shakespeare would use a certain technique or literary device and avoid doing so when it could help me grow.
Thus, it is best not to compare myself to anyone or anything, even something or someone great. The humility and simplicity of not comparing myself to anything leaves me with unlimited growth potential. There is nothing I know for sure I cannot do or try.
There is an inherent challenge in learning and growing. New knowledge, wisdom, or growth might tempt me to define myself by it, thus limiting me. For example, if I am a doctor, I might wonder whether a doctor would or should reach a certain conclusion or explore a certain path. Should I follow a spiritual path as a doctor? Should I incorporate it into my professional activities? A similar question may arise for a religious person. If I am a religious leader, can I go outside my faith’s sources for wisdom? For that matter, if I am an atheist, can I draw wisdom from religious traditions?
It becomes easy to see how all comparisons, labels, and credentials can be limiting. The key is never to compare yourself to anything. Credentials are there as a marker for others to demonstrate you’ve mastered a certain body of work. They should never mean anything to the one who holds them.
The content of what you’ve learned should not be used to limit you. There is an ocean out there compared to the drop that you possess. This is the real meaning of humility. You do not consider yourself high or low. You are just you and your growth is limitless.
This approach to humility also addresses the problem of assertiveness and pride. Pride is only a problem if it stands in the way of growth, makes us unwilling to admit we are wrong, or makes us look down on others. However, this brand of humility does not preclude being proud of an accomplishment or asserting myself when I see a wrong or a need. In fact, the opposite can be true. Comparing myself to others might cause me to avoid asserting myself when I see an injustice or something being done incorrectly due to concern for my reputation. Humility allows me to understand that it’s not about me but about doing things correctly.
In the end, it is haughtiness and arrogance that hold people back by boxing them into whatever limits they have set. Try setting yourself free with humility, and you will finally become limitless.