We are social animals. Babies need to be held and touched for their brains, bodies, and emotions to develop properly. This interaction is so important that some hospitals use “cuddler programs” in their NICUs to help premature babies experience this vital interaction. Social connection continues to be important throughout our lives. Nothing proved this better than the social isolation many experienced in the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic. Rates of depression, anxiety, and drug overdoses soared. Even the most well-adjusted took a mental health hit.
We need to be in the physical presence of others regularly simply to remain psychologically stable, but communities are much more than simply a means of retaining basic mental health. Community is an essential component of spiritual health and personal growth.
Communities contribute to our spiritual lives in 4 ways. They allow us to be part of something bigger than ourselves; they are the foundation of larger societies; they teach us the gift of giving; lastly, they help us develop both strong and weak bonds.
Community can be a powerful tool to create meaning in our lives through devotion to something bigger than ourselves. When we are part of a community with a rich history, we know we are part of something that existed long before we were born and will endure long after we die. Communities have values, traditions, and customs that elevate us above our own mundane lives and trivial problems. When we are invested in these values and traditions, our lives take on new meaning. We are no longer defined by the short years of our lives.
It is easier to see our value in a specific group than it is in the universal web of existence. When this greater web is too much to ponder or give us solace, we can turn to familiar faces, ideas, and practices. This is the positive side of tribalism. Our ancestors were dependent on the tribe for their physical survival in harsh ancient environments. Today, we are dependent on communities for attaining complete spiritual development.
Communities serve as the building blocks of larger societies. They provide the means to learn and to build all of the necessary structures of more complex societies. These include governments, businesses, schools, charities, and all other institutions necessary for complex societies to function. In communities, people learn to form institutions first with the people they know and before doing so with strangers. Skipping this smaller step yields impersonal societies where people are more concerned with what they are owed by society than with what they can give others. We are currently seeing how quickly this can lead societies to be on the brink of failure.
A key aspect of community membership is that it is within communities where we learn the joy of giving. Giving is one of the most important acts we can perform and, as we develop, we must learn to give to loved ones and strangers alike. We discover the importance of giving from living in communities where we develop compassion while learning to appreciate the universal benefits in giving interactions. Parents know this intuitively, which is why one of the earliest lessons they teach their children is how to give and share.
Some lament the lack of desire many people have to help strangers in their society or foreign societies, and this is indeed lamentable. Communities are the ideal environment to learn the importance and benefits of this type of giving. They don’t guarantee we will learn it, but without this training, it is unlikely to be learned at all. The bonds created by community teach us giving skills we can generalize. Without these bonds, it is hard to imagine how we would ever develop the compassion that drives us to give of ourselves and the joy we derive from giving.
Finally, communities lead both to the strong and the weak bonds between individuals that allow for personal spiritual growth. Weak bonds are those between people in the same tribe or institution who do not have much in common personally. For example, two people may belong to the same faith community or ethnic group sharing its common history and customs but without developing a deep personal connection. They may even share superficial interests, such as a shared enjoyment of a particular sport, but they do not share deep interests or ways of thinking about the world.
Strong bonds are formed when people share a deep personal connection. They enjoy each others’ company and have common intellectual interests and moral values. Strong and weak bonds are important in providing the backdrop for an individual’s spiritual growth. Weak bonds are what create communities in the first place, while strong bonds and love of friendship are a space for reflection, correction, and the refinement of beliefs, attitudes, and actions needed for true spiritual growth.
Technology allows more connections than at any time in human history. Yet, humankind has never been more lonely. Connections alone do not create community. Superficial interactions, even in abundance, are the mirage promising support and fulfillment only to leave people emptier than ever. They lack the meaning shared by individuals in a community where the depth of the connections is based on shared history, values, and norms. It is only in those relationships that the group becomes more than the sum of its parts and existence transcends the mundanities of everyday life.
Perhaps, loneliness is inherent in the human condition and a reality we must accept. Perhaps. Yet, it is also a reality that through community spiritual fulfillment can be achieved.
Of that I am certain.